Yes this is football and hip-hop but every now and again…we have articles for our “Whatever” section. Being from Oklahoma, I love my OKC Thunder to death…well maybe not death because it is just a game. Let’s see here, I love them uncomfortable stomach pains. Either way…I wrote about basketball…which is definitely not football or hip-hop. Enjoy.
When it comes to athletic freak of nature scapegoats, Russell Westbrook is in and Lebron James is out. Westbrook’s critics are like overbearing fathers who live through their kids – nothing is good enough. Russell’s shot selection isn’t always understandable, but neither is his athleticism. He plays like he was diagnosed with “Bi-Polar Point Guard disorder” and there’s an internal war between Steve Francis and Steve Nash going on in his mind. He doesn’t know whether to dunk, shoot, pull up or praise Canada. It’s nothing new to mic up coaches and players, but when point guard voices in your head are mic’d up it gets interesting. Here is the dialogue between Nash and Francis, timestamps and descriptions for every shot Westbrook took in Game 4 Tuesday night.
1st Qtr.
Steve Francis – (Looks left, looks right and sees no Steve Nash) “Onward soldier!”
11:33 – Drives the lane and lays it up over several people for his first two points.
Francis wins.
Francis – “This is for Victor Page baby.”
9:45 – Straight up court off the rebound. No transition or offensive setup, pull up jumper goes in.
Francis wins.
Steve Nash – “Sorry I’m late guys. I was watching England vs. Ukraine on my DVR. Gimmie a pick!”
8:15 – Pick and roll pull up jumper.
Nash wins.
Nash – “Serge and bake baby.”
7:37 – Trademark elbow jumper goes in off the pick and roll.
Nash wins.
Nash – “YMCMB! I see ya Birdman. Watch me stunt like my step-daddy!”
7:09 – Hard drive to the basket, only to get rejected by the rim.
Nash loses…Francis wins.
Francis – “Canadian athlete. Watch American athlete. Yeeeeahhh!”
6:52 – Flashes down the lane and misses an out of control flying floater.
Francis loses…Nash wins.
Francis – “I was fouled man. Cocaine Clownboy refs man. Bread and Butter though.”
3:03 – Straight up the court, guarded by Lebron. Pull up jumper goes in.
Francis wins.
Francis – Inside peanut butter, outside jelly!
2:30 – Drives the lane and misses a point blank layup.
Nash wins.
2nd Qtr
Nash – “James! You’re holding the ball longer than you’ve been growing your beard.”
9:12 – Has to take a 3ptr in the final seconds of the shot clock.
Nash indirectly wins.
Francis – “What up Van Gundy. This is for you and Stan.”
9 min mark – No offensive setup. Drives down the lane one on three and misses.
Nash wins.
Nash – “Franchise. You’re so boring. Mix it up a little man.”
8 min mark – Goes to the rack, makes layup with the left hand.
Nash wins.
Francis – “See what happens when I listen to you?!?!”
5:33 – Harden wide open on the wing. Doesn’t set offense, misses pull up.
Nash wins.
Nash – “How can you not see Harden? Press game attire is my call today buddy. I got the Craig Sager special lined up today.”
4:30 – Heat defending Westbrook like he’s going to run a deep route. Makes pull up.
Nash wins.
Francis – “This is payback for Edgerrin James destroying UCLA’s title hopes in ’98.”
2: 27 mark – Crossover jumper puts James Jones on skates.
Francis wins.
Francis – “Don’t worry bout this one Nashy. I know you would get it if you could.”
1:14 – Rebound put back dunk.
Francis wins.
3rd Qtr
Nash – “What’s going on Chrissy.”
11: 37 – Good ball movement, ball comes back to him, but step back 3ptr on bosh misses.
Francis wins.
Francis – “You think Bill Simmons can give me a 30 for 30?”
7:35 – Sprints around Durant’s pick to make the pull up jumper.
Francis wins.
Nash – “Goodness Franchise, you’re worse than the Duke basketball documentary.”
6:45 – Fresh out of a timeout, misses a pick and roll 3ptr early in the shot clock.
Nash wins.
Francis – “If Stephon Marbury gets a statue, I want one too.”
5:50 – Steps into an elbow jumper off the pass from Harden – all net.
Francis wins.
Nash – (Rolls eyes)
2:58 – “Passes up open elbow shot and penetrates too deep and misses bad shot.”
Nash wins.
Nash – “Hot potato.”
2:14 – Alertly makes layup after catching desperation pass in mid-air from Ibaka.
Nash wins.
Nash – “Hey, Michael Jordan missed some game winners, right!”
1:43 – Gorgeous drive to the basket, but the layup doesn’t fall.
Francis wins.
Nash – “Hey, I’ve gotta run soon. Dinner meeting with Phil Jackson. Don’t you dare say I can’t run the Triangle offense. Bye Russ. Listen to your heart, not Francis please.”
0:03 – Pushes the ball up after grabbing the rebound. Makes pull up jumper in Shane Battier’s face.
Nash wins.
4th Qtr
Francis – “I’m so glad he’s gone. Let’s just focus and play Russie.”
10:25 – Euro step in transition and finishes with the right hand layup.
Francis wins.
(Silence)
8:37 – Tough drive and makes another layup.
Francis wins.
(Silence)
8:00 – Another tough drive and another made layup.
Francis wins.
(Silence)
7:20 – Backs into the lane, drives and finishes after being fouled. (Makes free throw.)
Francis wins.
Francis – Quotes Boondock Saints “It was a firefiiiigggghhhhttttt!”
6:47 – Pull up jumper goes in. (Westbrook has now scored the last 11 points.)
Francis wins.
Francis – “Really Kevin?!”
5:20 – Walks ball up. Durant can’t get open…misses pull up jumper.
Francis indirectly wins.
Francis – Quotes Home Alone mom because Kevin has gone missing. “Kevin!”
3:30 – Forces top of the key jumper after Durant doesn’t get open.
Francis really indirectly wins.
Francis – “We got this man!”
1:43 – Up the court, looks left and right then flashes to the lane and finishes.
Francis wins.
Francis – “Keep fighting. Play smart.”
0:40 – Out of the timeout, quick screen and roll to the basket for the layup.
Francis wins.
